Emmet's guides to: How to Get a Valentines (Late Valentines Special)
by PopSugarEmmetBrickowski
Summary: [COMPLETED] *Just for fun guides since Valentines is over..* Are you Alone this Valentines? Then don't worry, Emmet will guide (help) you to be with your Valentines! C:


Velma Staplebot was just standing there, just enjoying the view since taco Tuesday apocalypse has ended. Lord Business comes up to her all happy and gave her a Valentines card. Likely they are in love ;). Velma opens up the card, the card was written ''Give me ur bewbs''. Velma was quite shocked and uncomfortable. Lord Business didn't know why was that written. ''I did not write that-''. Velma didn't believe him, she kicked him off of her site.

"Is this you? Then you have come to the right place! You need some help from Emmet! I'm here to give you tips for Valentine's Day and getting that one you love! Ahh. Just look at Unikitty and Benny being a cute couple over there! ^u^" Emmet said being really happy.

"Yay!" Unikitty & Benny said it all excited. :D

* * *

 ** _Step 1: Finding the Special one_**

Emmet got uncomfortable when it comes to dolls and toys. "Okay sorry, but Dolls and Toys don't count as a special someone," Emmet turned to Green Goblin and Gandalf. "Hey, get those toys out!" Green Goblin and Gandalf felt bad and got the dolls and toys put away. "Okay! The first step is finding the special someone you want. In order to do that, we have to go outside." Emmet steps outside of his apartment. "Now you have to look for them."

Emmet looks around for a bit and spots Dick Grayson (Robin) by Surfer Dave's car. "Hi Emmet!" Robin waved Hi to Emmet. Emmet waves and said Hi back.

 **Emmet's thoughts to the Audience:**

 **Guys, I'm not gay! I can't date Batman's kid!**

Then the audience spotted Lord Business.

 **Emmet's thoughts to the Audience:**

 **What the Heak! No! I told you guys! I'm not Gay! Not what he has done on Taco Tuesday! -_-**

Finally Emmet spotted Wyldstyle. He felt the pressure in love!

* * *

 ** _Step 2: Approaching the Person_**

Emmet was ready to tell the next step. "Alright. When you find someone, like Wyldstyle, my girlfriend, you have to go up to them. 'Why' you asked? Well.. Cause doing what Batman does has no strategy to it!"

"Batman! You're on!" Emmet shouts and looks to Batman as he approaches to Barbara.

"Heeey Barbara! How about we get together and turn me on if you know what I mean? ;) How about it?"

"Woah, you've gone way too far-"

"Can I turn kiss you already?" Then Batman ends up in the jail back in Gotham City. "Ah darn."

Emmet didn't expect Batman to be in jail in Gotham City, but he went on to the Step. "So yeah, how do you do it? Well I got some techniques you can do! ^u^"

First it's an beat Emmet did when he distracted the robots. He did that and approached to Lucy. He whispered, "Hi Lucy!"

Second is a sexy Bump. Emmet don't usually know how to do that, he learned it from Superman, but Emmet tried his best to do it.

Third is a Moon walk. More like Michael Jackson's moon walk, Emmet was pretty good at the moon walks. So He did that.

Lastly he did the Knockout, he definitely did the wrecking ball on Lucy. He regrets that as he sang it from Miley Cyrus.

* * *

 ** _Step 3: Confessing your Love_**

"So if you really want to show how you feel, you have to tell her the truth, you know how I remembered about that night Lucy told me I was the Special. Tell the truth, and have a present ready to give. Here I have thought they are best to give":

 _1\. Tell her how much you love her (forever I say 3)_

 _2\. Heart Box of Chocolates (I would be sure Lucy likes Chocolate ;) )_

 _3\. Flowers (she would love them, I hope ^^)_

 _4\. CDs of Dark and Brooding music (I learned she likes that kind of music when she was still dating Batman..)_

 _5\. Taking her on a date (Great to take them on your first date, etc., it will be my first date)_

"Hopefully it'll work out well :D" Emmet said.

So he approached to Lucy, she saw him right away. "Lucy!" He had held her claw hand. It lasts a few seconds to ask to be her valentines, and she says "Yes, Babe!" She recently kissed him and he kissed back.

 **Emmet's thoughts to the Audience:**

 **You See guys, it went fast when you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend. It may take a while if you haven't got one. No offense. Next Step! :D**

* * *

 ** _Step 4: Kidnapping_**

"Well there's no need to Kidnap your love, it's not following the instructions! Well unless he/she rejects you and doesn't want to be your valentine. Then you kidnap him/her without their parents and siblings noticing... Next Step."

* * *

 ** _Step 5: Having a Date_**

"We're here! :D" Emmet said as he & Lucy arrived at a restaurant.

 ** _Emmet's thoughts to the audience:_**

 ** _You know how some movies have a date in some restaurants, and that couple had a great time. Lucy and I had a great time 3. Flirting and basically making first date romantic. Somewhat first dates can be awkward for one of you guys, it's fine, if you just met your valentines (your crush)- it can be that way.. At those times, fifteen minutes later, I guess Lucy went overboard of what she want to do at home after leaving the restaurant! I'll uh, reveal it when we get to my apartment."_**

* * *

 ** _Step 6: Sexy time?_**

Emmet felt very nervous. "Well I.. I didn't expect Lucy to say that she wanted to do me here. In our writer's (who is writing this) mind, here were some tips so that you can't mess up at this. Ahem."

 _1\. Like in one of the Final Destination movies, don't take out your phone and recently play games on there, it recently kills the mood and let's that person don't want to do it anymore. ((I don't know any of that weird stuff, in my world as I watch Final Destination, they were just kissing, nothing else in the pool scene :/))_

 _2\. ((I know in my world we don't fart, but the writer will give this tip anyways)) 'Do not Fart. It recently kills the mood.'_

 _3\. Don't accidentally say other people you know their names, only your current date's name._

 _4\. Don't do it when your parents are around, they would recently walk in on you and your date._

 _5\. In your guy's reality world, in cases of your date ask, bring something to protect your hot dog_

Emmet got more nervous as he walked to Lucy "Ookay, now.. Imma just shut this off and uhh.. give us a minute."

Just barely 13 seconds later, Bad Cop breaks in and starts interrogating about the kidnap

"Woah what?! This is a misunderstanding! No one is kidnapped!"

A moment later, Lucy pulled out a gun. "Emmet, do I still keep this gun for this?"

"Oh my fricken God she's got a gun!" Bad cop called back up, which they'd crashed in. Emmet was now shocked..

"Not again-"

* * *

 _ **Step 7: Escaping from Bad Cop**_

"This was never meant to happen again! Escaping Bricksburg again! Im now a wanted criminal! Bad cop wanted Lucy. How jealous! Now just like in Grand Theft Auto (if you use cheat codes) you have to get your phone out and press remove the Police wanted level."

Emmet pressed it with his new phone, but all the sudden its not working. "Noo! It was working before!" He started panicking and screams as His car went out of control. "Never mind, Imma use this rocket luncher Lucy had brought with her." Emmet pulls it out, aimed at the police cars & lunches it. Moments later, Bad Cop had crushed the car Emmet and Lucy were in and they were caught. "Eooww!"

* * *

 ** _Step 8: Being Interrogated ((again))_**

Emmet was in claw handcuffs on a chair again. "Well, guys, I'm getting interrogated by bad cop again.. Felt like He screw up my valentines with Lucy. Hope it'll turn out better next year."

Batman popped up behind Emmet's back. "Hey, will you be my Valentines if I get you and Lucy outta here?"

"No, I'm not gay Batman. Getting out of here would be nice before Bad Cop notices-"

"Uh rats..." Batman goans.


End file.
